Tips on Places Parents Can Go For a Brief Holiday…When They Can’t Escape or Have No Money

Tip One: Go to the loo. I find this is a great way to escape for a few moments. If you have a nice bathroom or toilet, take a break by sitting on the loo, away from the hustle and bustle of the main house. You can pin up a poster with points on how to live a happier life, a list of the Dahli Lama’s favourite foods, or even a Lenuig comic or two to giggle at. Taking time out to read during a quick toilet break is a brilliant way to escape and bask in the serenity of the loo.

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Tip Two: Have a shower, that’s what I do, because no child wants to see their mother or father naked, yuk! It’s a safe zone for all weary parents of teens and pre-teens. Relax in a pile of bubbles or even take a book and music into this steamy oasis to read or listen to.

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Tip Three: Hide in the Laundry. Now this is an untapped resource for many tired mummies who just need the nagging to stop, particularly when you have teenagers who usually have no idea where the laundry even is. It is warm and calming so kick back and relax listening to the rhythmic rocking of the household dryer.

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Tip Four: Hide under the bed. Many, many times when children enter the bedroom preparing for a good session of nagging, they expect to find a parent. Surprise them by disappearing under the bed. Now this wee break requires preparation as this protective space under the bed needs to be cleared. It doesn’t take much to quickly whip under the base of the bed frame and pull in a blanket or two to hide any potentially visible limbs.

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Tip Five: Invest in a massive dome meditation chair that sits on a balcony slightly out of view from the main hub of the house. Using a very dark mosquito net, place this over the dome to provide camouflage and work as a cloaking device so unsuspecting children walk back and forth seeking out the toast buttered/lunch box filling grown up without any success.

So don’t forget all exhausted, nagged, tired, pliable, subservient parents need a break now and then no matter how spiritual and perfect they try to be! We can’t please them all, can we my dears. Well I’m off to the loo, I hear one of them coming…..

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